Pride

So often, I try to make things right, but it really doesn't work that way. Every time, not even in reality (like, I think the situations gets better, but for me, inside, it's worse or even the situation itself is bad) I make things still unfixed, and I think that's a human thing. 'Cause Jesus said, "If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing,' and I think that He gets it.
By ourselves, we will fail and dig ourselves deeper and deeper down into a hole, so that it's impossible for us to climb out alone. But, when we're living in Jesus, we're intimately with Him so that He's inside me and I'm inside Him, so I know part of what He knows, so I know what He wants, and I can face the world with Him. So, in situations where I want to help somebody I love but am afraid of failing, trying to please them alone, or I don't know what they need, Jesus lets me know what to do, according to what He knows they need and/or what He wants for them. So, with Him, I'd be more effective and I'd be with Jesus, anyway. And, going along with that hole analogy, when I am in Jesus, I can and still fail, and I can dig myself deeper and deeper into a hole, but I have the hope and the assurance, through His love, that Jesus will save me.
...
Also, thinking about it, Jesus wants us to lay ourselves down for Him because He knows what we'd get ourselves into if we followed whatever we want, and He wants to protect us from that, and, I think, He wants us to experience what He has planned for us, because it's the best for us, going back to Jesus' amazing love. He saved us from all of our sins, the whole world, so He could make us pleasing and shiny to His Father, "meet the parents;" He loves us!
But, going back to laying the self down, that's hard, and I don't think it's meant to be easy. I think we're supposed to consider what we have and decide if we think Jesus is worth more than all that. It's a hard decision, at least for me. It requires--shall I say it?--dedication, commitment, and love [and even humility]...

--an excerpt from my duh-duh-duh-da journal

I Have Time

When I first began blogging, about seven months ago, I usually made posts because I was procrastinating from doing homework. I wanted to share details of my life. Like the friend who unloads her complete list of problems, I felt/feel like I have a lot to share when I am stressed. And, guess what? I still post things here, on this little page, when I procrastinate. But, lately, I've found myself very busy. With what? I don't know. Family life, homework, friends, مابعرف.
But, this week has been nice, let me tell you.
My small group has been reading this book, The Praying Life by Paul E. Miller, and it's super good. Miller shares that prayer is how we build a relationship with God and get to know Him better. He talks about being childlike and relying and trusting God daily, daily, daily. It's been so good for me to read this book, mainly because I tend to get self-conscious about my prayers, if they please God, and if they're good. But, this book, in one part, said that when you are having a conversation with someone, you usually focus on spending time with them, not just the words being said. So, think about how you talk with your friend, or sister, or brother, or parents, etc. When you want to enjoy their company and talk with them, you focus on the person, not just the conversation.
I appreciate what Miller has to say. It is helpful.
Good morning!

Wow, people read my blog!

I didn't know that. I found out that people from Canada, Russia, South Korea, and Latvia have read my blog, as well as folks from the United States. Wow! I didn't know that anyone besides my sister and maybe coworker read my blog. Thanks, guys!