Blaaaah. Why is fashion such a fickle thing? Why is it so hard for me to be fashionable without think inking that I might be trying too hard? Do I look nice ona daily basis--or, at least, when I do try to look nice? Do I appear frumpy? Do I dress my body well? Do I have my own style? I was just looking at my mom's friend's fashion blog. She looks nice, but I don't know, I compare myself to her in that weird fashion sense. She is hip, a fashion blogger, a family-life blogger, a Pinterest fanatic, a photographer, creative. What am I like? How do people see me? It's a question I feel like I must ask, even though I know it doesn't matter. It makes me insecure. I have no reason to be when I consider the love He has for me. It's ridiculous. This perfect love I'm blessed with is more powerful than anything I know, more than hipness, popularity, beauty, anything.

Praise God, truly because He's good. Been felling bad, but now I have a new slate. After reading some of Daniel (chapters 1-4), I feel better. It's such a simple story of God's power. Also, I've had two songs stuck in my head and I listened to them and they make me feel good.

 My God Reigns by Darrell Evans
Verse: There's nowhere else than I'd rather be
Than dancing with You as You sing over me
There's nothing else that I'd rather do
Lord than to worship You
Pre-Chorus: So rejoice be glad rejoice oh my soul
For the Lord your God He reigns forevermore
I rejoice for my God reigns
So rejoice be glad your Father and your Friend
Is the Lord your God whose rule will never end
I rejoice for my God reigns
Chorus: My God reigns and I dance the dance of praise
My God reigns with a shout I will proclaim
My God reigns and I worship without shame
My God reigns and I will rejoice for My God reigns

 And Go by Waterdeep
Go tell it on the mountaintops
That I'm alive
Go listen to the children cry
And let them know
That dark and night are not their masters
Between you you'll know all the things
That I never said out loud
Don't walk away from the crowd
Go tell them that it's cold outside
And I won't thrive there
And I'm getting tired of hiding
My face From your disgrace
Although you think that you've disguised it
And when you get too tired of waiting
To picture My face in the clouds
Look around I know it won't be sown the way
You want it to be
I will make it grow with or without you
You'll pray, I'll wait
You may fall down a time or two
Go tell it in the valleys low
That I'm alive
Go listen to the men that sigh
And let them know that dark and night
Are not their masters
 And when you get too tired of waiting
To picture My face in the clouds
 Look around

 Thanks!

Gabri-food

I thought I had an idea of what I was going to write about. I forgot. I forgot while getting sidetracked while googling Yoko Ono's art works. They are unconventional, but really interesting to see on a Wednesday afternoon. Funny, but not in the humor way, in the odd-ish way. Look them up (Cut Piece, Sky Piece for Jesus Christ, the Box of Smile). Interesting.
I kind of have no idea what I'm planning to do for the rest of the day, save going to housechurch at seven, and having a quiet time between now and then. Now and then. I didn't think I would be on the internet for so long. It's been about an hour and a half. I guess that that isn't extremely long, but, at the same time, I'm not accustomed to just browsing on the Internet. I look up what I need to or play a long list of YouTube videos, but I never really just browse and follow what I find. For example, I looked up...what did I even look up? Oh, yes. I looked up "Cut Piece" and that led me to a video and a webpage about Yoko Ono, which led me to look up other art from her, which led me to look up a video of John Lennon speaking in a big bag (bagism, I don't even know what it means). Just interesting.
Today is a strange-kind-of-day. Out of the ordinary, for me, at least. And maybe even Bayna, who is now watching Doctor Who after dismissing it because of Martha Jones. She's past Martha Jones, so she's watching it again.
I woke up feeling like I am composed of a bunch of different people that I see, but only about breakfast food. I wondered what I could eat for breakfast, but everything I came up with felt like someone else's breakfast food. An egg (Papa and Mama), cereal (Bayna), toast with butter and honey (Kelsey). I like all of those other foods, but just wanted to feel like myself. To eat something that is me. So, I wrote about my conundrum in my journal. And, after doing so, I knew what I could eat for breakfast! Something that is like me to eat! Oatmeal with raisins. Mmmmm. Yes. That is a Gabri-food. In fact, my mom  bought a box of raisin, date, and walnut (walrus, I almost typed) oatmeal for me. And I'm the only one currently in my house that eats oatmeal and raisins, a Gabri-food indeed. Yay!
I did not want to be like, "So, HA!" about my raisin, date, and walnut oatmeal, but I think it proved my point.
Yay!

I don't have very much to say today, but I'd definitely like to share some pictures.
I have a new camera. I didn't own an old camera; I received this one as a graduation present, but I've never owned a personal camera for my personal use before. It's a Canon something-or-other. Got it from my grandparents (thank you, Papa and Nana!), and this morning was the first time I opened the box. It was sleeping until now. I awoke the camera from its slumber. Muahahaha!
So, I took some pictures to evaluate the quality of the camera.

 A photo of the opening-everything process.

Fringe from my blanket (look at that detail, will you?).

HP book cover art.

MY PAJAMA PANTS! What detail!
Alayna says, "Llama, llama, llama!" 

After washing off a facial mask, Bayna sprouted a green beard. She models it.

Then, for lunch I cooked some quinoa pilaf with onions, garlic, carrots, celery, and green bell peppers. I felt inspired to cook, and then blog about my cooking after watching "The Pioneer Woman," Ree Drummond, another blogger's television show, with my mama. If you'd like to, head over to Ree's blog.

Here are some more pictures, featuring the quinoa pilaf. I cooked the quinoa in vegetable broth instead of water for extra flavor, then minced garlic, chopped onions, carrots, green bell peppers, and celery. Sauteed the veggies with olive oil and a bit of salt and pepper, and then added them to the cooked quinoa. It was quite tasty, but needed more flavor.

It's What A Blog Is For (Thoughts!)

Hmm. I feel like I don't really know what to write. I want to write, especially because I haven't here in about a month, roughly. Like a blankness of the mind.  Today, I read a chapter of this book, A Woman God Can Use, and reading it was really good for me, part of the Plan. The chapter was about Hannah, Samuel the judge's mother, and her story about depression. It always seems like my premenstrual self is off, unlike my normal self. But, I don't think I can attribute this funk just to my body changes, it's a part of my story for right now. I felt terrible about myself. Now, I feel a little better, but reading that book was good. A thing about Hannah is that I really first heard about her from my older sister. She told me that she thought it was cool how real Hannah seemed in the Bible because she found comfort from food. She ate double portions of meat on the days her family sacrificed in Shiloh, she stopped eating the day she felt extremely despaired, and, after praying, she ate something and felt better (all of this can be found in 1 Samuel 1). Hannah's story is told in the first two chapters of 1 Samuel. Read it. Just as I am real, just as you are real, she was real, too.  Memorial day is...tomorrow? Monday? Over the weekend, part of my family went to my great-grandparents' graves on my mom's side to lay flowers. They were fake flowers, but Nana said that grandmother would not have wanted us to spend so much money on real ones. Mmm. Going to the cemeteries reminded me of what this priest, father Ken, once said. He said that he thinks it's good to walk in cemeteries occasionally to remember how short life is. To remember that the people there were once burdened by daily stresses and had infatuations and suffered, too. To remember how we'll be like that someday, too, which is a humbling thought. It's sad, but more hopeful than anything because everyday, we come closer to being perfectly united with Jesus and remembering life on earth with Him in eternity, whether in heaven or in the New Jerusalem (or, you know, both). Recently, I mean just a few hours ago, I decided to google the entrelac  knitting method because I had knitted a swatch,  thinking I would turn that into a blanket with other entrelac swatches, and wanted to continue with it. Do you know how difficult it is to find the same instructions when you don't know the name of the website they came from or anything?! I'm not even sure if this was a pattern or, like, some sort of tutorial. It's a bit frustrating. 

Procrastination Or Something

I don't understand why it's so difficult sometimes to actually do my work. Especially when I need to use a computer with internet-access. My brain goes boop-boop-boop, "Do something fun, Gabri. This is boring. You could do this, or look up that. Don't you wonder how that works?" And, I think, "Crazy brain! You need to be quiet." Shhhh. Like a librarian.
Now, I was originally going to write for my English project which is due in a couple days:  two, to be exact. I will probably finish in time, but I'll stress myself out, I bet. Not good.
Oh, the days go by so quickly. I don't feel very good today, like not my best looking, or feeling, just sluggish. Sluggish. Sluh-ggish. What a silly word. What a silly Gabri.

That's good. I was afraid of coming online and wanting to please my oh-so-many viewers. I'm glad I don't have to worry about that. I was afraid that this would be about posting what they would want, not what I want to share or muse about, or just write for the fun of it. I can write for the fun of it. I can write that sometimes, after watching this man on YouTube (charlieissocoollike), I feel like being British, as if I could just change nationalities and my personality and mannerisms. As if I could just not be me. Then, after I thought of that, I felt sad because I did kind of not want to be me. Sometimes, I don't like me. I want to feel like I'm fun and quirky and interesting and not awkward. And, that's why I felt sad.
I've actually been watching a lot of charlieissocoollike, and I have been thinking about his videos often during my days. Also, my little sister has a crush on Charlie and his friends (Alex and Tom). All three of these young, musical, British video-makers are in a band together with another man, Edd Plant--I think his name is. My sister has been singing one of their covers today.
And, to let you--yes, YOU--know, hey, Jesus is pleased with you, even if you don't do anything. I found that out last week, or so.
Thank you, ooowhhaaaaa