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Monday, September 17

Inadequacy

Feeling imperfect sometimes feels nice, but sometimes it feels bad. But, I am imperfect and was made to be this way. So, don't lament over it; it's fine. Seeing beautiful, successful women makes me feel insecure about myself. I wish that I could be supportive of them, and not focus on myself nearly as much as I do. Ladies with soft, smooth skin and beautiful eyes. Ladies with slim, even too slim, bodies. Ladies with fashionable, unique clothing. With lovely voices. With virtue and godliness. Is it that I am blind to myself? Who am I? Can I look beyond myself?
I heard or read somewhere that it's best to look at God, at Him, when you feel badly about yourself.
I haven't been doing that so much.
But, that when you don't focus on yourself, but on Him and His glory, you feel better. Maybe that's just a shallow way of explaining it, but I think it's true. While looking at Jesus and His righteousness, I think that my own shortcomings don't matter very much. I think that His love matters more in that moment. I think that's beautiful. So, maybe I will intentionally look to Him, although it's hard and perhaps not so fun, because it's better.  Hallelujah.

Monday, September 10

Afterwards...

I had a job interview today. When it was finished, my nerves needed some refreshing so I got a coffee milk tea with boba. I was really nervous afterwards.
^_^

Thanks for reading up on my life, even the little, odd details.