Pride

So often, I try to make things right, but it really doesn't work that way. Every time, not even in reality (like, I think the situations gets better, but for me, inside, it's worse or even the situation itself is bad) I make things still unfixed, and I think that's a human thing. 'Cause Jesus said, "If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing,' and I think that He gets it.
By ourselves, we will fail and dig ourselves deeper and deeper down into a hole, so that it's impossible for us to climb out alone. But, when we're living in Jesus, we're intimately with Him so that He's inside me and I'm inside Him, so I know part of what He knows, so I know what He wants, and I can face the world with Him. So, in situations where I want to help somebody I love but am afraid of failing, trying to please them alone, or I don't know what they need, Jesus lets me know what to do, according to what He knows they need and/or what He wants for them. So, with Him, I'd be more effective and I'd be with Jesus, anyway. And, going along with that hole analogy, when I am in Jesus, I can and still fail, and I can dig myself deeper and deeper into a hole, but I have the hope and the assurance, through His love, that Jesus will save me.
...
Also, thinking about it, Jesus wants us to lay ourselves down for Him because He knows what we'd get ourselves into if we followed whatever we want, and He wants to protect us from that, and, I think, He wants us to experience what He has planned for us, because it's the best for us, going back to Jesus' amazing love. He saved us from all of our sins, the whole world, so He could make us pleasing and shiny to His Father, "meet the parents;" He loves us!
But, going back to laying the self down, that's hard, and I don't think it's meant to be easy. I think we're supposed to consider what we have and decide if we think Jesus is worth more than all that. It's a hard decision, at least for me. It requires--shall I say it?--dedication, commitment, and love [and even humility]...

--an excerpt from my duh-duh-duh-da journal